Brene Brown and her fabulous Ted Talk on the Power of Vulnerability is a way to explore what it means to be human, why we are here and what it all means. The talk is so funny, informative and inspiring I had to watch it twice to get all the good juicy bits down.
Connection is why we are all here in the first place, we all want to make real lasting human connections, to be loved, accepted and connected.
Brene speaks of shame as the fear of disconnection, this fear that we all have deep inside that we are not good enough, not smart enough, not fit enough, not skinny enough whatever it is and this fear is that others will find out and stop us from finding connection. So many of us live this way seeking approval, really caring what others think and thinking that we are not good enough. Well I am here to tell you that you are good enough, you don’t need approval, you can find connection if you are willing to share your vulnerability and allow your soul, desires, dreams and heart to be truly seen.
In her research Brene found that the only difference between people who had a sense of worthiness and those that did not was that they actually “believed they were worth of connection.” How many of us truly believe not just say it for others but truly believe in yourself and that you are worthy??
Wholehearted people have 3 things in common:
- Courage – the original meaning of courage comes from ‘cour’ latin meaning heart – the original definition is to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. “Tell the story of who you are with your whole heart” Open your mind, your heart and your soul and allow yourself to be out there vulnerable and you will have courage.
- Compassion – this compassion starts with yourself, you must have compassion for yourself first before you can have it for others.
- Connection – as a result of authenticity and when people are willing to let go of who they think they should be for who they really are you form connection. Be authentic.
Finally, the last thing in common is this: Vulnerability – they fully embraced it, believe that what makes them vulnerable makes them beautiful. This occurs when you say I love you first, when you do something that has no guarantees and take chances.
- Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness
- It is also the birthplace of joy, creativity, belonging and love
In the modern world we are so afraid to be open, to be vulnerable we hide ourselves, we numb ourselves with alcohol, drugs, tv, food, we try to make everything uncertain – certain and we also try to perfect. Its only when we realise our numbing, hiding, uncertainty and imperfect nature that we can open up truly be vulnerable and show our authentic selves.
- To truly feel the joy, creativity and happiness that life has to offer we have to also feel the guilt, shame, fear and vulnerability we cannot live in a boxed up life where we never really feel.
- Good and bad or yin and yang whatever you say they come together and when you truly feel those sad, negative feelings and open your mind up you then also open it up to true joy, gratitude, happiness, belonging and love.
So the tips that Brene give us:
- Let yourself be truly and deeply seen
- Love with your whole heart – even though there is no guarantee
- Practice Gratitude – be grateful for the joy in the moment, your life you have and the world you live in.
- Know you are Enough – truly belive you are enough.
To watch the entire Ted Talk click here